Excuse me.

I hereby put forth a motion to grant me my own talk show. It would be the best, most ridiculous, and probably the most censored talk show in the whole wide world. I want to sit around on TV, and talk to people about how stupid their lives are. They let people like Tyra Banks do it for god sake....I can't be any more dangerous then that. It would be like Chelsea Lately meets Jerry Springer with a dash of Ellen, I added Ellen because it would be very likely that I would dance a lot, very badly.
Can you imagine what kind of quality television would ensue if I could get my mits on some bitches like Paris and Britney! GOOD LORD I could make Perez Hilton look conservative.
Yes, in a perfect world I could have my own late night talk show complete with midgets, bearded ladies and performing macaws. It would be fabulous I tell you, simply magical. OH IF ONLY.
And if not a talk show, can we discuss a reality show? That ruby person has one just for simply being real fat. Well I'm fat, and let me tell you brother I am FAR more entertaining...
I suppose for now, until I win the lottery and buy a local news channel, I will dream my fond dreams of having my own house band and handing out paternity tests....::sigh::